Date: Sun, 11 May 1997 12:57:33 -0700 (PDT)
From: Ryan Maves
Subject: A brief review of "The Fifth Element"

So I saw "The Fifth Element" on Saturday.

What do I think of it? Well, in short, it's a great-looking movie with a cool soundtrack and a plot borrowed from a fantasy novel I read in junior high. Apparently, Luc Besson (who made the movie) wanted to keep the plot under tight wraps to keep any details about it from being revealed prior to release. God only knows why.

Anyways, Bruce Willis is this cab driver and former elite soldier guy who has to save the world from some ultimate evil which appears every 5,000 years. There is a weapon made up of the four elements (air, fire, and so on) which is activated when they are brought together around a mysterious "fifth element". Which isn't actually so mysterious, beacuse they tell you what it is in the first five minutes of the movie. Sadly, this supreme being and fifth element is an anorexic supermodel. Oh well.

The big idea, I guess, is that love or life or something is the fifth element. Fortunately, they make this revelation very very simple so that the less quick-witted among us can get the point.

I have a few suggestions to improve the film for its director's cut:

1. Instead of Milla Jovovich, make the fifth element be tungsten.
2. Instead of the four elements, base the movie around the four humors. This will lead to great scenes: Bruce Willis hocking a loogie in order to invoke the power of Phlegm, or asking the other characters "What exactly is black bile, anyway?"
3. Round out the symmetry of the film by having the final confrontation with evil take place at the Four Corners where Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and Mew Mexico come together.

Mockery aside, it is a pretty cool movie. Great effects, amazing scenery, very violent. Enjoy.

Ryan C. Maves